Say What?!?
/In the beginning I was asked so many times was this a planned pregnancy and why did I wait so long to get pregnant again? After having a miscarriage, the fear of getting pregnant again, the fear of it not happening, and/or having another miscarriage is hard to face and think about. So no, this wasn’t planned but it is truly a blessing!
Looking back, I have coined January as the “Say What?!?” month…
Well, honestly, there was a period of time when the talk of having another baby was a consistent topic and then life got in the way. Not only was there health issues with us and family members but we realized that having a baby at that point in our lives was not good “timing” because we were so busy and barely even getting everything done with our “big kids”. They were self-sufficient and very active in extra-curricular activities. I was teaching at the time and working long hours (because I taught, coached, left school late each day playing catch up, and finishing work at home) and my husband was running his company and being a CEO is no easy task with set hours.
As much as we wanted the timing to be right, there ultimately is no right time because life is always happening, there will always be up and downs, and even though it’s a hard pill for me to swallow… there are just some things we (I) cannot control! Being OCD, a small control freak, and not being able to control the “timing” can make you spaz out…
So… fast forward to the first week of January 2018, I am in a major stress zone. Preparing for my daughter’s 8th birthday party, things are going wrong left and right, plans falling apart, running late, and in the midst of it all I am not really feeling well. I haven’t been feeling well but I still have things to get done and I push that to the side. One of the things I am good at most of the time is hiding when I am not feeling well. I may be feeling horrible but you may only see that I am just “off”. On a scale of 1-10, I may feel like a 10 and that being the worst but you may only see me at a 4.
Things finally fall into place, get to the venue, kids having fun, and then the final part of the party head home for the sleepover. Now that the party is over and all kids have gone home from the sleepover, the pain I was feeling began to hit me. Hit me hard. Still I don’t really say much but say I need to rest from all the stressing and partying. I got to the point to where I was in so much pain, finally I broke down and I called my doctor. I get the nurse and she asks all these questions.
Long story short, my monthly cycle had been off schedule since October when we left our 10-day anniversary trip to London, Paris, and Spain. For 2 weeks I am told that I need to take pregnancy tests that all gave me “not pregnant” results, I was told that I may be producing less estrogen, I could be entering pre-menopause, or may need to schedule an appointment to check and see if I have developed cysts or something more serious.
It’s now January 24, 2018 and while in Wal-Mart, I pass by the isle where the pregnancy tests are and I see 1 of the brands I normally purchase sitting on the shelf. I grab it. I mean really, what could it hurt; I was already freaking out at this point thinking something could be wrong with me and I could possibly need surgery. My husband is laughing at me and makes a joke about us buying stock in pregnancy tests because I’ve had to buy so many lately and just randomly buy one that day.
January 25, 2018, as soon as I wake up and I take the pregnancy test. BAM! Quicker than normal, the words “PREGNANT” show up. I’m shocked… in disbelief… confused… relieved… scared… nervous… frozen. Now what do I do? I’m happy because finally I know what’s been wrong with me but then a million and one questions pop in my head. All the while still sitting in the bathroom frozen.
“Ummmm… RECOOOOOOO!!!!!” I yell to my husband. He sees the test and his face is priceless. Want to talk about timing being off, not right again, and hands being completely full… sheesh!
